[ Thursday, January 06, 2005 ]
Auld lang syne
Every year, I follow the rest of the sheep into the Valley of Cultural Expectation, making some half-hearted New Year's Resolutions that I know I'll never keep. Now, I respect (and even admire) people who seriously endeavor on resolutions that they have at least some
hopes of maintaining, and I've even known a select few people who've actually accomplished what they set out to do on January 1st. For me, though, I'm too much of an unreliable moron to make anything more than the easiest, most basic, thoroughly inconsequential resolution happen, and - even then - I gotta work at it.
But yet, I still find myself making them. There's a general resolution, one I've had for many years, one which I've made progress on but still have a long, long way to go on totally achieving. The resolution is simple - "Be less of an idiot this year." You'd think I'd have it licked by now, but - as anyone unfortunate enough to spend any significant amount of time with me - the secret to this one's still got me baffled. So, there's that.
Beyond that, though, I've really only made two New Year's resolutions. Now, be prepared, because they're pretty stupid...Ready? Well, then, ladies and gents, please welcome the country's hottest new hitmakers, The Resolutions!
1)Watch THE DAILY SHOW every day.
2)Watch more baseball, both on TV and in the park.
Stupid, no? I warned you...
By the way, Ashlee Simpson's "performance" at the Orange Bowl is easily the funniest meltdown I've seen on TV since...well, since Ashlee on SNL. (Before that, Anna Nicole Smith's drugged-out award show speech about Kanye West was the grand champeen.)
On the box right now: John Legend, GET LIFTED
Dove With Claws [10:25 AM]
[ Monday, January 03, 2005 ]
It only took two days
We already have a candidate for Stupidest Fucking Thing of 2005: the Anaheim Angels have now, thanks to the owner, changed their name to...get ready...the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. (Just try saying that three times.) I'm not making this up. What will they think of next? And can we stop them?
Read about it here: http://msn.foxsports.com/story/3292736
On the box right now: Brandy, AFRODISIAC.
Dove With Claws [3:05 PM]